Why Me? by Hermy10

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 7
Published: 26/03/2009
Last Updated: 01/05/2009
Status: In Progress

Harry and Hermione have a fight...can harry patch things up with her before the ball or will she
be whisked out of his life forever by her new prince charming ps. reviews will only make me
better




1. you will never see me again
------------------------------

**A/N: Yay!! (jumps for joy) hehe sorry this is my first story that I have EVER written about
Harry Potter…so yes(looks embarrassed) it probably does have a good amount of suckage in there.
Well anyways sorry about my last post I know it was confusing and a bunch of things were messed up
because my computer freaked out on me and I didn’t notice it (My bad)…well anyways im posting it
again just for you guys**

**PS. I don’t own Harry Potter**

**PSS.** **JKR does**

**PSSS.** **But I’m sure you guys already knew that**

**PSSSS.** **Why are you still reading this? Haha**

**Why me**

**"Why me?" yelled my boy friend/best friend Harry Potter.**
**"Harry you’re the hero of the wizarding world, it's no wonder they picked you to host
it." I said as I held his hand

**

**Hogwarts was holding the biggest ball to celebrate the downfall of Voldemort and Harry was
"randomly" chosen to host the ball. Unfortunately, there was also going to be an open
stage night, which meant that headmistress McGonagall would get to choose someone who then had to
go and perform something on the stage.

"Harry" I said "You have the easiest part in this...you don't have to sing or
dance at all."

"Yes but still they-"

"You’re better off than the rest of us mate." Ron rudely interrupted and then proceeded
to walk away.**
**"What's his problem?" Harry asked.

"I have no idea Harry, maybe he wanted to host the ball." I provided for him.

"No Hermione it's Ron, he wouldn’t want to."

"Harry, Ron is getting jealous of you...remember fourth year."

"Yeah I remember, but that doesn't prove anything!!"

"How can you be so naive about something that’s right in front of you?"**

**"I'm not naive, you just think you know everything. You’re just a little bookworm
with huge teeth and horrible hair WHO DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING!!!"

*SILENCE*
I tried to tell myself that he didn’t mean any of it but I swear I felt my heart break into ten
thousand microscopic pieces. I didn’t understand how he could be so vile, I mean I was used to him
being vile to a person like Malfoy, but to me?

He slowly let go of my hand. "I thought you would understand Hermione but I guess you have
changed. I-I thought you loved me." Harry quietly said

"I guess I don't, I mean how could I love someone who blows up when I disagree with him.
You’re so used to people agreeing with you. Well I’m sorry Harry Potter but I can't be with
someone who refuses to listen to me. You have hurt me one time too many. I may have changed Harry
but that was for the best, you changed for the worst. You will never see me again Harry
Potter." And with that I walked away from Harry potter forever.


Well at least until breakfast the next morning.

The next morning I woke up before the sun was up, and I decided to write a horrible letter to Harry
telling him how he was turning into a huge prat but I got a little distracted. I left the common
room and went down to the great hall to get something to eat, even though I wasn't very hungry.
I walked into the great hall only to notice one thing. Harry Potter was surrounded by girls, a lot
of girls, which could only mean one thing, our breakup spread faster than I thought it would.

I walked right past him and sat down next to Ginny.

"Hey Hermione."She said

"Hi."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine."

"Oh, well I thought-"

"Gin" I looked at her. "I'm fine, I promise."

She smiled warmly at me and put her arm around me. Everything went just like this until the ball
started approaching.**

**I soon realized that I didn’t have a date and I was starting to worry that no one would ask
me after all the guy that I was in love with pretty much told me I was extremely hideous.

"Hello Hermione." Neville's voice brought me out of my troubling thoughts.

"Oh hello Neville, how are you?" I weakly replied as I stopped on my pursuit to the
library.

"I would be a lot better if I actually had a date to the ball."

"Wouldn't we all."

"Wait, you don't have a date?"

"No I don't."

"I was sure Ron was going to ask you."

"Why would he do that, I'm nothing but a bookworm."

"Ron told me he fancied you a while ago. Hermione you have to stop putting yourself down.
You’re not a bookworm you’re a beautiful young woman who just happens to love books."

I laughed. "Thanks Neville, um I know guys are supposed to-"

"Hermione would you like to go to the ball with me?" He interrupted.

I thought for a moment. "Yes, I would love to go to the ball with you Neville."

Neville smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen on his face. He had grown a lot in the last
couple of years. For one thing he naturally grew into his ears and teeth, unlike me. He was taller
than Ron and it actually looked like he had some muscles under his robes.

'Well I will see you around Hermione; I'll meet you in the common room at** **five
thirty** **for the ball."

"Okay sounds great, bye Neville."

I started to walk towards the library when Ron Weasley grabbed my arm.

"What?" I irritably asked him.

"Look I know you just broke up with Harry an all but I was wanted to know-"

"I'm already going with Neville, Ronald."

I tried to walk away but he grabbed my arm again.

"Wait you mean Neville as in Neville Longbottom?"

"Yes, do we know of any other Neville Longbottom?" I replied slowly as if I was talking
to a child.

"That little...I told him I was going to ask you."

"When? Ron the ball is in less than a week and I wasn't going to wait around till the last
minute to find a date."

"I know, I just wish I could have asked you soner."

I started to feel really bad so I wrapped my arms around him.

"Ron there are still plenty of girls out there that would love for you to take them to the
ball."

"No, everyone already has a date."

"Luna Lovegood is still available I heard."

"Loony?" Ron asked. "Well I guess it's better than nothing I
suppose."
I slapped his arm

"Luna is a very nice girl Ronald and you’d be lucky if she said yes to you." With that I
left in the direction of the common room. The library could wait until tomorrow.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**"Hello and welcome to the first Hogwarts open stage night. I am your host Harry Potter.
Okay well let’s start things off; Headmistress McGonagall who would you like to go
first?"

Headmistress McGonagall turned around and looked at Harry “Why you are Mister Potter."

"What? Why me?"**

**"What better way to start of the night Mister Potter and you are the host."

"Okay um well it looks like I'm starting things off."
He grabbed a stool from the side of the stage and brought it to the front.**

**
"I wonder what he was going to do. Even I didn’t know he would have to perform. It didn’t seem
very fair that he had to host the ball and perform. I know one thing for sure there was no way in
hell that he was going to sing." I thought to myself

Harry made his way to the center of the stage and sat down on the stool.

"Oh no he was going to try and be funny, Harry was never that funny but for some reason he
always thought he was. This isn’t going to turn out well." I laughed to myself**



2. Dazed and Confused
---------------------

A/N: Well I have to say I feel much better about this chapter then the last. I want to thank my
quick and awesome beta Digitallace for helping me with this chapter.

Hope you like it and please review

P.S. I still don’t own Harry Potter

A crowd made up of more than half the population of Hogwarts was gathered at the bottom of the
stage waiting for him to start.

“Go HARRY!” Someone from the back of the Great Hall screamed right as Harry began to talk.

This of course resulted in thunderous applause that left Harry unable to speak for several
minutes. As I looked around the Great Hall looking for the person that had screamed I noticed that
almost everyone in the hall was clapping except the Slytherins of course. I looked back up to the
stage and noticed a grimace on Harry’s face just as the chorus of applause ceased. He looked like
he was in pain but this pain seemed to be more emotional than physical. I still did not understand
why he could never tell me what was making him hurt so badly. Although my thoughts were still
confused, I was pulled away from them as Harry began to finally speak.

“You know beating Voldemort wasn’t actually that hard,” Harry started off. “The worse part had
to be when I was hanging off the Astronomy Tower and he looked down at me with his red eyes and
yelled “Harry I am your father.”

Only the muggle-borns laughed at this seriously over used joke and I couldn’t help but giggle a
little.

“Seriously it gave me nightmares for weeks. Could any of you actually think of your mum having
sex with Voldemort and not have any nightmares? Yeah that’s what I thought.”

The whole hall erupted with laughter and I actually found myself laughing along.

“Oh, how about this, your dad doing it with Bellatrix,” Harry said as he laughed. “Gave you a
wonderful mental picture there, didn’t I?”

“Well while I’m making fun of Voldemort or Mister-I-must-kill-Harry-Potter, I was wondering if
anyone else had heard his lisp.” Harry laughed at the complete silence this question presented him
with. “Well believe me if he went to a muggle grade school he would have never passed the first
grade. I could just see little Tommy sitting by himself on the short bus.”

Harry seemed truly happy up there on the stage for the first time this evening. Apparently he
liked torturing us with extremely nasty and unwanted mental pictures.

“I absolutely despised fifth year and no it wasn’t because of Umbitch or the O.W.L.S. I hated it
because of the extremely enormous choice that I had to make,” Harry said as if he was giving out
advice. “See as a fifth year you have to choose what career you would like to have so you can
pursue the right classes to make sure you can get there. Here is how I see it; it all depends on
which classes you can actually handle for another two years. Potions are for the people who like
dark and creepy dungeons that come supplied with an equally creepy potions professor.” Harry paused
waiting for the students to settle down after his joke and it’s after effect.

Professor Snape decided that Harry’s joke was offensive and reacted dramatically -just as Harry
had planned- and stormed out of the Great Hall with his black cloak billowing behind him.

“Sorry, Professor Snape” Harry called after him which only resulted in more laughter from the
students.

I looked to my left and saw Neville crying from his mirth at Snape’s display. I started laughing
along with him and soon my stomach began to hurt. This is just what all of us needed after we had
to experience war and the death’s of our closest friends.

“Well anyways I figure defense against the dark arts is for people who love running and cowering
in fear.While transfiguration is an entirely different story; it is for people who like staring at
a stationary object wanting your object to turn into a bird but instead it turns into a mouse with
wings.”

“By far the class I love the most is divination,” he said in a false tone of contentment. “I
mean how could you not love Professor Trelawney telling just how, when, and why you are going to
die everyday of the class semester?” Harry said with extreme sarcasm in his voice.

“Well that’s all the jokes I have. Have a great evening everyone.” He said as he got off the
stage as the thunderous applause started up again.

The rest of the evening went just like this with an occasional song thrown in the middle of the
acts. Harry continued introducing the acts and one by one the smile plastered on his face soon
began to disappear, but I took no notice as to why. After we had broken up I began to feel, well
empty; like a part of me was missing and I soon felt myself falling apart physically and mentally.
I was always tired from having sleepless nights and it took an amazing toll on my schoolwork. I was
unable to pay attention in History of Magic anymore because I couldn’t help but steal a few glances
at the back of Harry’s head. This alerted Ron of my condition, because with the lack of my
attention I was unable to give him the notes for the past two weeks.

“Why don’t you just go talk to him if being away from him is hurting you so much?” He had asked
me.

“I-I can’t Ron, I just can’t talk to him again.” I told him as I looked straight into his eyes
trying to look brave but of course my eyes betrayed my true feelings. Vulnerable. I was completely
and utterly vulnerable.

“Why?”

This question remained unanswered because I would not nor could I ever tell him about what I had
witnessed two weeks ago.

I remember it was in December when I was studying in the Gryffindor common room. I had an
Ancient Runes test the following day. It was never like me to leave studying till the last minute;
that was always Harry and Ron, but for the life of me I was unable to concentrate on my book.
Fortunately Harry and Ron had Quidditch practice so I was able to let myself be distracted by the
window to my far right.

I walked to it and sat down on its sill and looked down at the ground of Hogwarts. The previous
night there had been a sever snowstorm and I was now looking down at the results. Everywhere, all
around was covered in a beautiful morning snow. It looked as if it could have been a scene from a
snow globe. All of the trees were covered in snow; every branch, every leaf had some of the powdery
substance in its crevices.

I soon found myself breathless and wanting to go outside as I took in the scene piece by piece.
The entire Forbidden Forest looked as though a giant –taller even than Grawp- had sprinkled
powdered sugar all over the tops of the trees and the powder had slowly cascaded down the leaves. I
slowly started to realize why Harry had almost verbally attacked me a week ago. Attention. It must
have had to do with all the attention he had been getting from the war and now the ball, and just
like the trees in the Forbidden Forest, the branches were not strong enough to hold all of the snow
and neither was Harry. Something else was bothering me very deep in my subconscious. The way Harry
had looked at me that day; his eyes were hard and cold almost lifeless; his body was rigid as if I
had just stabbed him. I still did not understand why he acted accordingly.

Before I knew it I had jumped up and ran out of the common room. I didn’t know where I was going
all I knew was that I had to find Harry. I was planning on confronting him and whether he liked it
or not we were going to talk. I still cared about him deeply and I needed to come to terms with the
fact that I needed him in my life more than I needed to breathe. Harry was my oxygen, my reason for
living. In fact if it hadn’t been for Harry I would have been in my grave by now. I would have died
in the girl’s bathroom on my first Halloween at Hogwarts, but he saved me.

My thoughts were interrupted when my brain realized that I was no longer moving. I tried to
concentrate on what my eyes were seeing instead of what I was thinking. What I finally noticed,
rather than saw, for my brain refused to believe it -Harry had just walked out of a broom closet
with Ginny Weasley.

I was brought out of that sudden memory quickly for I had finally realized that Harry was no
longer smiling and I found myself tilting my head at him in confusion.

“Um Hermione?” A hard voice broke threw my dazed thoughts

“Huh?” I asked with a voice that was extremely close to resembling that of Luna Lovegood’s.
“Wait…what?” I again asked in complete confusion.

Apparently my entire focus had been on Harry for quite sometime now, but I was still utterly
confused about many things and my brain was completely overloaded at the moment, which was a first
for me.

“I asked if you would like to dance,” The voice told me with a tone that had a slight hint of
irritation in it. “With me.” He added as if he needed to clarify his last sentence.

I finally and reluctantly tore my eyes away from those dark, unhappy green orbs and brought my
dazed and confused gaze onto Neville. He showed no expression on his face except through his eyes.
They were surprised as they widened even more at the sight of my confused face.

“What?” I started to panic as I asked him. “Is there something on my face?”

I started to feel extremely self conscious and even more confused as I brought my gaze to the
floor.

“No, you’re perfect Hermione, it’s just that you were staring at Harry for quite sometime and I
was just beginning to worry.” He finally but slowly replied.

“How confused can one girl get?” I asked myself

“Why were you worried?” I quietly asked him, fearing that I already knew the answer.

He leaned down to me and whispered in my ear “It just seems that you would rather be here with
Harry than with me.”

I quickly looked up at him with sudden anger and determination. “ There is no doubt in my mind
that I came to this ball with the person I wanted to, Neville believe me I am extremely glad that
you asked me to the ball and I wouldn’t want to share this experience with anyone else but
you.”

He seemed happy with my reply so I dragged him out to the dance floor where we danced until
midnight. It wasn’t awkward dancing with Neville; I mean this was no Yule Ball. We were both just
trying to have fun and would pause and pray to Merlin that we wouldn’t get chosen when Harry went
up to introduce the next act. It took every ounce of strength that I possessed not to look into
those beautiful green eyes whenever they showed themselves. When Harry announced the end of the
ball almost everyone in the great hall gathered on the dance floor for the final songs.

I was expecting to end the night with a quick upbeat songs but intuitively I knew what would
happen. The next song of the night was the notably, the always dreaded love song.

My heart automatically accelerated and soon I began hyperventilating just looking at the stances
the other dancers on the floor began to take. I looked at Neville who was looking back at me with a
strange hopefulness in his eyes as he extended his hand to me.

“May I take your hand?” he asked in which he thought was a romantic voice but it only made him
sound as if he was losing his voice.

I nodded and took his hand unknowingly and quickly for I had spotted Harry talking quietly to
Ginny in the far off corner to my left. He was the last person I was going to let see me looking
confused and vulnerable.

The song started up but I didn’t notice the song or the beat and was just letting Neville drag
me around the dance floor like I was like a rag doll in his arms. I only had eyes for the two
people who had hurt me so horribly. As we danced closer to them it looked as if Ginny was yelling
at Harry but I wouldn’t let my hopes get too high. My view was obstructed from them as Neville spun
me around. The next thing I knew Harry Potter was walking right toward me.

I quickly tried to drag Neville away from the fast approaching Harry while dancing, but Neville
had another plan of action he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Harry and immediately let go
of me.

“What are you doing?” I asked him while looking around the room for anywhere I could take cover
from Harry.

I was totally unprepared for this, staring at him was one thing but talking to him was on a
totally differently level that I was not ready for.

“Looks like Harry wants to talk to us,” he replied totally unaware of my panicked face.

In my last ditch effort I decided just to walk away from Neville, I knew it was wrong but I
couldn’t do this. My head was screaming at me to run and keep running until I knew I was safe, but
that advice came too late for Harry had finally approached us.

“Hey Neville.” Harry said as he shook Neville’s hand while his other hand was resting in his
pant pocket.

“Hey Harry. You did a great job up there. I have never seen Snape so angry before,” he replied
while shaking Harry’s hand.

Harry laughed. “I can assure you it was not intentional,” he lied as he winked at me.

“Okay this isn’t so bad,” I thought to myself. “If Harry keeps acting as if I don’t exist then
I’m fine with that, I can get through this.”Of course my optimism didn’t last long enough for my
hopes to rise.

“Hey Hermione,” Harry said nonchalantly. “How are you?”

My heart was beating so fast I had barely heard his question. I didn’t know how to react to him;
I was expecting the cold shoulder from him or at least the cold, and hard eyed Harry. So I just
went on instincts since I was still angry with him.

“Hi, I’m fine,” I replied coldly.

“That’s good,” he commented casually.

“Listen Neville, I was wondering if I could have this dance with Hermione.” Harry looked at
Neville with a straight stare that almost looked pleading from where I was standing.

“Sure Harry.”

I was so angry with Neville I could’ve hit him. Was I just some object to be handed from one guy
to the next? Why did I not have a say in this? Then it dawned on me, I may not have a say but I can
still do something.

Harry started walking toward me his arms extended as Neville began to walk away without even a
backwards glance at me.

“It’s now or never.” I thought to myself.

Just as Harry was about to put his hands on me I quickly stumbled around him so his hand only
grabbed onto air. I took three extremely huge steps and got a hold on one of Neville’s arms. He
turned to look at me, surprise evident on his face; he was just about to speak when I covered his
mouth with my fingers.

“Actually Harry, we were just about to leave,” I told Harry as I tightened my hold on Neville’s
hand. “Right Neville?”

“Oh yeah that’s right, sorry I forgot.” He easily lied for me.

“Oh well-” Harry started to reply but I started dragging Neville out of the Great Hall before he
could finish and little did I know I was leaving behind a very disappointed Ginny and a heart
broken Harry Potter.

Just as I was about to open the door to leave this sudden hellhole I heard the last song of the
night. I caught myself. I recognized it, as it was from a muggle rock band.

I quickly slammed the door of the Great Hall with tears shining in my eyes because I knew it was
ironic to how my life was right now. I had caught myself and I had no idea, or clue of what I was
supposed to do now.



3. Why me? -Part 1-
-------------------


A/N: Well this is it (drum roll) part 1 of the last chapter!! I apologize for the long wait for
this chapter even though it was finished weeks ago. Lets just say that I got a little distracted by
an idea I had for a new fic…hehe. Well anywhoo I want to thank digitallace, my awesomely awesome
beta. Oh yes and my sister for helping me with this chapter. I hope it answers some of the
questions that you guys have.


Hope you guys like it and please review


P.S. I still don’t own Harry Potter, my life sucks


With the song’s echo slowly fading off each of the walls I was soon left with silence -the
great, wonderful sound that I needed so much. The state of absolute stillness. I slowly let out a
shaky breath and proceeded to lean against the cold, hard doors of the Great Hall. I was afraid:
afraid that my legs wouldn’t be able to hold the rest of my body up any longer, afraid that Harry
would follow me; and I was afraid that Neville would realize why I was acting so unlike myself
these past few hours.


I slowly looked up at my forgotten partner and smiled, hoping that he would take the hint and
act as if nothing had happened. “Thanks Nev-” I slowly stopped when I realized that Neville was and
had been staring at me for quite some time.


“Neville?” I looked around for anything that could be making him act so ludicrous. “What’s the
matter?”


He kept looking at me as if he were trying to figure out the hardest enigma in the entire world.
If I didn’t know Neville so well, I would have thought he was well maniacal.


“We need to talk Hermione,” he finally said as his eyes left mine with a determined glare.


“Oh,” I slowly replied as I tried to find a way to excuse my behavior in the Great Hall. “What
about?”


“Hermione, don’t try and act like all of the other insignificant, deficient girls in there,” he
said while pointing to the Great Hall and slowly moving towards the stairs. “I know you much better
than you think I do, Hermione.”


I was stunned, speechless even. I had never seen him act so commanding since he tried to stop
Harry, Ron, and me from leaving the common room in first year.


“Neville, I can explain,” I replied as if I was a child that had just been caught stealing from
a cookie jar.


“How can you explain it?” he exploded before sitting down on the step that was just recently
under his foot.


“Well I-I.” I stopped mumbling since I realized that he had actually made total and complete
sense.


I couldn’t explain any of it, I mean how does one tell their date that they have secretly been
watching their ex boyfriend all night and had barely paid any attention to them? That answer is
simple, they don’t.


“I can’t,” I decided to finish my sentence at last when I reached the stairs and pulled at my
dress so I could sit.


I began to feel horrible; I had mistreated Neville all night when I should have been grateful
that he had actually wanted to take me to the ball that I had secretly wanted to attend. My eyes
were beginning to water as I thought about the past month.


This felt like déjà vu; here I was sitting on the stairs after a ball, crying. I was just
waiting for Neville to just stand up and walk away. I had treated him like Harry and Ron had
treated their dates at the Yule Ball. I was wiping my eyes when I felt a sudden movement to my left
so I turned fearing that he had heard my thoughts. The stairs were empty; he was gone.


I sighed and slowly continued to wipe my eyes as I turned back around only to find Neville
kneeling right in front of me.


“And why should you have to explain?” he quietly asked in a caring tone.


“What?” I replied as I tried to catch my breath from being surprised and I would have thought he
would have wanted an explanation as to why I acted as I did.


He looked at me curiously while he placed his hand on my knee. “Why should you have to explain
something so simple to me?” he said while patting my knee.


“Simple,” I hotly replied. “How could any of this ever be simple?”


“Yes, Hermione, it is simple,” he said as he stood. “You’re still in love with your best
friend.” He smartly smiled at me while he slowly ascended the stairs.


He figured it out; Neville figured it out. I sat there alone on the stairs for five long seconds
until I called after him.


“How did you figure it out?” I whispered


“Just a guess,” He replied at the top of the stairs. “And besides, it wasn’t that hard to figure
out since you were staring at Harry quite an awful lot tonight.”


I quickly ducked my head as my blush began to spread and just replied by shrugging.


“I still don’t get it though,” he said while tapping his fingers on his chin. “Why haven’t you
talked to him?”


I looked down at my hands refusing to answer this question, I couldn’t even tell Ron. So why did
I feel like I could tell Neville?


I stood up and turned around “I do-” Neville was gone.


“Why can’t you talk to him?” a voice behind me asked.


I turned around and quickly regretted it when I saw whose voice it was.


“Hermione, you can’t keep running away from me.” He stared as he took a step forward.


“Harry, running would have to consist of someone actually chasing me,” I explained to him.


“I have been chasing you Herm-”


“No you have not, Harry Potter!” I quickly interrupted him. “You haven’t uttered a single word
to me for the past month and you suddenly miss me and just expect me to run into your arms?” I
screamed at him.


“No, Hermione I –I didn’t expect everything to be perfect I just, I don’t know I just didn’t
realize…..that you would be this upset with me.”


“Ah!” I yelled as I sat back down disgruntled. “Okay, Harry I’ll tell you why I’m so upset with
you if you tell me why…if you tell me why you acted like Ron; like a child, why you yelled at me
with such stupid and hurtful words,” I whispered to him my energy suddenly spent.


Harry looked at me with wide doe eyes as if he had just been caught by Voldemort himself. I
didn’t understand why he couldn’t tell me why he had had that sudden burst of hatred for me that
day and it was beginning to concern me.


“Hermione, I don’t think I can do that,” he slowly whispered.


I started to rise unable to stop the tears that came to my eyes.


“No, wait Hermione,” He was suddenly at my side holding my arm refusing to let go.


“Harry, I can’t wait anymore, I’ve been waiting for too long.” I wiped my eyes as I tried to
wrench my arm free.


Finally, giving up I looked him straight in the face. “If I mean anything to you at all ,Harry,
you’ll tell me.”


“Okay fine, but you should probably sit down,” he said as he pulled my arm down with him so I
had no choice but to sit with him. He took a deep breath.


“All of my life I’ve been the ‘chosen one’, Hermione, and for half of my childhood I didn’t even
know it. I was left in the dark for several years but ever since Dumbledore finally decided that I
should know my own fate I’ve put up with it and whatever else I had to without complaining too
much. After the war though, I thought that I wouldn’t have to be that person anymore; the leader,
the person who has all the responsibility and pressure hanging over their head all the time.”


“For the first time in my life I had no responsibilities, nothing to worry about,” He suddenly
looked up at me his eyes begging me to understand. “That was the first time in my life I was
actually normal for a while. I didn’t have to be the ’chosen one’ or the boy who lived; I was able
to be me.”


“I was actually fooled into thinking that after everything I’ve been through I deserved to have
a normal life and things would just calm down. I was able to have hopes for the future and thought
I would be able to concentrate on making it as perfect as I could without anyone trying to meddle
in it. But then the ball was announced and all those dreams were shattered the instant I realized I
could never be normal. That I would be forced to continue life as the boy who lived, forever, and I
would never be able to have a life like the Weasley’s have. I could never be normal and because of
that my life will always suffer,” he finally admitted almost unwillingly. “Do you know how it feels
to never realize you can have a future and when you do you realized you aren’t allowed to have the
one you want?

I waited a while to make sure I had understood him correctly before I began talking.

“I don’t understand, why couldn’t you just explain that to me? Why couldn’t you tell me?”


“I don’t know,” he regretfully said. “I was just scared; scared of how you would have reacted,
scared of losing you and Ron.”


“I was so frightened that you would have dismissed my thoughts as foolish and would have told me
that I was just overreacting. I couldn’t handle that, Hermione I care so much about what you say
and think if you had said anything remotely close to that I would have gotten even more frightened
especially after you had mentioned fourth year. I didn’t want to have to experience that
again.”


“So, I just didn’t give you that chance to hurt me and I vented all of my anger on the closest
thing to me, which just happened to be you.” He looked down as tears began to shine in his eyes. “I
was just so frustrated and distressed that I just hurt you the easiest way I knew how; since Ron
has hurt you plenty of times before.”


He looked up at me, his face screwed up as he tried to fight the tears that slowly started
cascading down his face. “I just felt like the walls were closing in all around me and I reacted in
irrationally because of it. I know it was wrong, Mione, and I am completely regretful for hurting
you.”


I turned myself slightly and looked at Harry. I knew deep down he was also afraid to lose
himself in all of this madness; he probably had been afraid for a long time and the ball just
brought it out of him. I slowly took his hand and tried to get his attention but he wouldn’t look
at me.


“Harry,” I said as I squeezed his hand. “It’s never a bad thing when you cry, it shows me that
you’re still the same you and you should never be ashamed to be that person.”


His gaze was still captivated by the floor so I decided to distract him. I quickly pulled him
into my arms and began to run my fingers through his uncontrollable raven hair as I’d done so many
times before. He continued to softly cry and soon buried his face gently into my hair. I didn’t
want to disturb him so I rested my head on his shoulder and took a deep breath to gather my
thoughts.


I quickly stopped thinking as Harry’s smell captivated me and my thoughts. I had forgotten how
addicting and intoxicating it was.


After a few more minutes Harry had apparently gathered his thoughts and emotions enough to talk.
He slowly detached his arms from my body and I obstinately lifted my head from his shoulder and
smiled sheepishly to myself.


“Okay,” Harry started with a deep breath. “Now it’s your turn.”


Still slightly recovering from being this close to Harry I defiantly stayed silent, not wanting
to admit how childish I had acted while I had refused to confront him.


“Why won’t you talk to me Hermione?” He whispered as he looked intently into my eyes almost like
he was trying to look into my soul.


“Because Ha-”


We were interrupted as the giant doors of the Great Hall opened up and we were soon swallowed by
a crowd of fellow Gryffindors trying to be the first to the Common Room. I soon lost sight of Harry
as even more people started ascending the stairs as I stood trying to find him. I walked down the
stairs attempting to find him but with no avail. I slowly walked down the empty hallways trying to
get where I needed to go almost desperately.


I was hoping Harry would remember where we used to always go when we needed to talk to each
other alone or we just wanted to be in each other’s company.




